So, what's the dumbest question you've been asked?

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John B Jr
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So, what's the dumbest question you've been asked?

Postby John B Jr » Mon Feb 22, 2016 8:59 pm

Yeah, I know. The dumbest question is "What's the dumbest question?" Take a seat wise guy; this is gonna be good.

Back story: I renewed my fishing license and given that my wife and kid are in different countries at the moment, I found myself in a low-rider lawn chair, pulp-fiction novel, cooler, tackle box, rod and reel sitting on the bank at the local pond. There's afternoon fishing/loitering and then there's getting up in the wee hours, chartering a boat, pounding beers at sun-up and coming home seasick and sunburned but with a bag of fresh catch. Well, this was that first kind.

I was using a cut up hot dog for bait because I'm not after any picky fish, just the agresively hungry ones and only for sport. By page 4 of the novel, I had a nibble and reeled in a 3-4 inch bluegill. It was just barely lip hooked and not even big enough to take its picture. A meal and a new piercing and it was back in the water. Alright so far. At that point, an observant duck waddled out of the pond and squatted down a few feet from me, ostensibly to partake in any further catch or maybe the bait when I was done.

No luck for the duck. The sun was going down behind me and the shadows were making it hard to read. I was checking my e-mail ahead of packing up when I guy on a bike rolled up. I was forming the words, "Naw, I haven't caught anything" when instead of asking me how the fishing was he inquired, "Is that your duck?"

I shook my head and In a dry southern drawl, I kinda answered but more like mumbled "Here's your sign."
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re: So, what's the dumbest question you've been asked?

Postby spudmunkey » Mon Feb 22, 2016 9:15 pm

I used to work in the produce section of a Piggly Wiggly. One day, a woman complained that all the watermelons were flat and yellow on one side, and asked why they were so dirty. I answered, "because that's from sitting on the ground…" She then responded with the question, "what do you mean 'sitting on the ground'?"

She actually thought that watermelon grew on trees.

Could you imagine if Sir Isaac Newton sat under a watermelon tree? Instead of discovering gravity, he would have broken his neck when the watermelon landed on his head.

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2Plus2isChicken
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re: So, what's the dumbest question you've been asked?

Postby 2Plus2isChicken » Mon Feb 22, 2016 9:46 pm

There are many I'm sure, but the main one I consider kind of stupid is any time I go to Subway, order a tuna sub, and after the tuna salad is put on the sub I get the question, "Would you like it heated or toasted?"

Sure, I would love to eat some hot tuna mixed with hot mayonnaise, because that's normal.
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re: So, what's the dumbest question you've been asked?

Postby spudmunkey » Mon Feb 22, 2016 10:37 pm

Um...tuna melt, anyone? ;)

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re: So, what's the dumbest question you've been asked?

Postby Catman10 » Tue Feb 23, 2016 4:15 am

I was playing a gig in a rockabilly group at a place called "Rock, Wine, & Blues" when some character comes up and asks ", Do you guys know 'Billie Jean' by Michael Jackson?" :roll:

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Re: re: So, what's the dumbest question you've been asked?

Postby Doctor Turn » Tue Feb 23, 2016 6:27 am

Catman10 wrote:I was playing a gig in a rockabilly group at a place called "Rock, Wine, & Blues" when some character comes up and asks ", Do you guys know 'Billie Jean' by Michael Jackson?" :roll:


...and all hell broke loose! Tables turned over, the single incandescent bulb was broken with a guitar headstock. A scream in the dark! A shot? Was that a shot?

No--someone lights a match. Everyone checks themselves . . . but it becomes clear that during the fight, Doctor Turn has slipped through the window and quickly merked Catman's guitar player's Les Paul Signature with a >POP< off the live amp jack.

...and gone in a flash.

Moral: be careful what you choose not to play :mrgreen: :ninja:
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re: So, what's the dumbest question you've been asked?

Postby ferret » Tue Feb 23, 2016 7:06 am

There's lots of these in the IT world.

I've literally been emailed a screenshot before where someone tried to logon to an application and a message came back saying "Invalid password, please reenter and try again" and they asked me what was wrong.

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re: So, what's the dumbest question you've been asked?

Postby wickid » Tue Feb 23, 2016 7:13 am


Me - at a local brewhouse recently (that's all they do, sell growlers and have a bit of a bar-thing going on ... no food).
Got my growler filled, and asked "Do you guys take cash"?
Backstory - they use something like 4square or whatever for credit cards, never print rcpts - only email them, and I never saw a register there (its under the counter).

I knew it was a stoopud ? as I was asking it, and should've just handed them the $20 and let them deal with it. But then they wouldn't get the chuckle I provided. :lol:

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re: So, what's the dumbest question you've been asked?

Postby Casual Madman » Tue Feb 23, 2016 6:39 pm

More the result of a series of dumb questions... a guy in sales at my day job once complained to the boss (got the story from boss): "Every time I get off the phone with Casual Madman, I feel like a dumbass!"

Boss told him, "I think that says more about you than Casual."

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re: So, what's the dumbest question you've been asked?

Postby spudmunkey » Tue Feb 23, 2016 6:50 pm

Working at a music store, we had listening stations up front where we would put in any CD for the customer to try out. About once a week, someone that decided to buy the CD they were trying out would ask, "Can you rewind it for me?" Keep in mind that this was about 2001-2005-ish.

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re: So, what's the dumbest question you've been asked?

Postby MikeBass » Tue Feb 23, 2016 8:18 pm

My trio was setting up in one of our regular haunts which happens to be a restaraunt. Some guy about our age walked in and asked 1. If we were going to be playing and 2. If they had food there. I guess the stage full of gear and room full of tables wasn't obvious enough.
Last edited by MikeBass on Tue Feb 23, 2016 8:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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re: So, what's the dumbest question you've been asked?

Postby spudmunkey » Tue Feb 23, 2016 8:28 pm

I like to think I'm pretty self aware when I'm being stupid, so I knew I was going to ruin *someone's* day. In about 1995-1997, I went into a bookshop and admitted, "Ok, so I know you guys get this all the time, and I just wanted to give you the heads up that I am going to be 'that guy' today, and that I am fully aware of what I am asking of you." I close my eyes, sighed, lowered my head, and continued, "I'm looking for a book, but I don't know the name, and I don't know the author. It's not new, and it's about vampires."

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re: So, what's the dumbest question you've been asked?

Postby kmd09 » Tue Feb 23, 2016 8:53 pm

True story, but I wasn't asked the question. A few months after my ex-sister-in-law had her first daughter, she and her mom were out shopping. My first niece decided it was lunch time so my sister-in-law took her into the women's restroom to breastfeed her. Mid-lunch, a woman walks in and takes notice and proceeds to ask: "Oh, what an adorable baby, is she yours?"
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Re: re: So, what's the dumbest question you've been asked?

Postby Doctor Doug » Tue Feb 23, 2016 9:39 pm

spudmunkey wrote:I like to think I'm pretty self aware when I'm being stupid, so I knew I was going to ruin *someone's* day. In about 1995-1997, I went into a bookshop and admitted, "Ok, so I know you guys get this all the time, and I just wanted to give you the heads up that I am going to be 'that guy' today, and that I am fully aware of what I am asking of you." I close my eyes, sighed, lowered my head, and continued, "I'm looking for a book, but I don't know the name, and I don't know the author. It's not new, and it's about vampires."


I worked in a bookstore for a few years and got that all the time! The best part is you eventually get so good at it you can pretty much find their book on the first go. :D

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re: So, what's the dumbest question you've been asked?

Postby spudmunkey » Tue Feb 23, 2016 9:47 pm

At least I knew what the cover looked like, and when I described the book, they knew it right away. :)

We would get the same thing at the record stores I worked at. "I'm looking for this one song. I don't know who sings it. It's, like, kinda new but not really. It goes like..." (as they proceed to mumble a breathy yet atonal "melody", while actually only annunciating the one or two words of the phrase they know).

Or better yet, "About a week ago, I was listening to NPR in my car, and they played this little snippet of a song between segments. It was kinda jazzy. You know what I'm gallon' about, right? Do you have that?" :lol:

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re: So, what's the dumbest question you've been asked?

Postby Toptube » Wed Feb 24, 2016 1:40 am

I ride my bike to work. The weather does not matter.

I come in, full rain gear, dripping wet, my bike as well.

"Is it raining?"


*this is a fairly regular occurence. I'm sure there's some detailed psych eval which could tell us why people do this. but there it is.

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Re: re: So, what's the dumbest question you've been asked?

Postby Catman10 » Fri Feb 26, 2016 4:13 am

Doctor Turn wrote:...and all hell broke loose! Tables turned over, the single incandescent bulb was broken with a guitar headstock. A scream in the dark! A shot? Was that a shot?

No--someone lights a match. Everyone checks themselves . . . but it becomes clear that during the fight, Doctor Turn has slipped through the window and quickly merked Catman's guitar player's Les Paul Signature with a >POP< off the live amp jack.

...and gone in a flash.

Moral: be careful what you choose not to play :mrgreen: :ninja:


LOL. Thats funny you still remember that LP! Well, he wasn't the guitar player in that group. I think there were mainly MIM strats and reissue Gretschs in that group I mentioned.

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re: So, what's the dumbest question you've been asked?

Postby Doctor Turn » Fri Feb 26, 2016 9:27 am

Not only do I still remember it but I will never forget it!

That photo was a revelation; I (and others with equal guitar knowledge) initially assumed that was a 335.. and after you pointed out that you were pretty sure it was some variant of Les Paul (to my incredulous eyes) I think it was Sirloin who told us the model.. the LP Signature from the 70's which I had never ever heard of.

When I researched that guitar I was completely enthralled by it. To score one from that very limited run would be a major coup for me. Ironically after learning about it, that same day I jumped onto reverb and saw one on sale, with the original papers and even the store/tuning peg hang tag... but he wasn't asking chump change for it, either.. let's put it that way.

Eventually I would like to score one. I don't have a heavy call in my realm for a SH, but if I could have any one in the world, it would likely be a Les Paul Signature from the 70's. Extremely cool, very versatile guitar.

Here is a write up on it from Reverb.com.

A general rundown of the very cool electronics:

Specifications and Electronics

Featuring many of the Norlin era accoutrements, including a three-piece maple neck, a volute, and a wider headstock, this guitar had other interesting features of note. The bridge was made by Schaller and was wider than the normal ABR-1 featured on most models until 1975. Touted by many as an eyesore, the bridge is made very well and has a wider range for the saddle position.

The Les Paul Signature also features two input jacks: a low impedance jack on the side of the instrument as well as a standard jack on the face of the guitar. The controls are also non-standard. There is a three way impedance knob, allowing the player to switch from 50, 250 and 500 ohm. This changes the resistance in the circuit, altering the output levels and overall tone.

There is also a switch for taking the guitar pickups out of phase when it’s in the middle position. This changes the tone of the instrument dramatically, thinning it out and giving it that almost Stratocaster-y quacking sound. Jimmy Page and Peter Green’s tones are easily attained, with the right rig, using the toggle in this position. The other two knobs are a master volume and master tone.


Everything about the thing is super-interesting, but I think most players were overwhelmed by its sophistication and it didn't sell.. so by 1979 (after about 5-6 yrs production) it was all done.
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re: So, what's the dumbest question you've been asked?

Postby gjacob » Fri Feb 26, 2016 9:53 am

Starting work as a computer programmer in 1995 as a college flunk-out, I was terrified that I would be surrounded by experts and would stick out like a sore thumb.

That was quickly put to rest when a senior developer with a masters degree in computer science pulled me over to look at an issue. The complier error was "Cannot convert an integer to char at line 120". She was asking if I had any idea what that meant.

"um, go to line 120, you are trying to use an integer as a character"

The line was about 15 characters long, any first year student could find that, let alone someone being paid a ton of money by a major corporation. No surprise that I was running the group within 18 months....bunch of slackers.
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re: So, what's the dumbest question you've been asked?

Postby Koshchei » Thu Mar 31, 2016 7:08 pm

"Do you think you need more strings?" about my Vader 8 banger is right up there.


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